Cold
by TheUnnamedWriter
Summary: Waking up one day not being able remember who you are? Anything at all? All that is left are the memories, to solve a very distorted puzzle that might lead to no good.r&r.
1. Chapter 1: So Cold

**Disclaimer:/I don't own any of the characters, with the exception of the O/C.**

**R&R :)**

**So Cold**

Opening her eyes she scanned the room, she slowly adjusted to the bright light. Looking down at her arm that had an IV taped down, she saw the wrist band with the name: Amanda Reneé Sawyer. Her eyebrows furrowed, _Where am I? _She thought to her self. None of this was making sense, how exactly did she get here. A tall man, with golden blonde hair and piercing blue eyes walked and sat next to her bedside. He smiled at her and held her hand, but she quickly pulled it away. _Who is he?_ More thoughts running through her head.

"You're awake." He said as She tilted her head and felt confused. "We were all worried you weren't going to make it, you've been in a coma for a month." he continued.

"Who are you?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"You don't remember who I am, Mandy?" He asked as he clicked a button and suddenly more people walked in to the room, they hugged her and smiled at her but she had no clue who they were.

"Who's Mandy?" She asked "and who are you?" everyone looked at each other with a concerned expression and then back at her.

"Y-You're Mandy. Don't you remember?" The blonde man, answered as she shook her head.

"No." She mumbled

"Do you remember anything, from your past?" A red headed woman, asked as She took a minute to think.

"I..I remember falling and seeing the room turn pitch black...that is all." She replied

"Well this went well." A tall man with dark hair and facial, sarcastically said as it clearly didn't sit well with the blonde man.

"Back off, Stark!" The blonde man retorted. "Mandy, try to remember." he patiently said.

"Who's MANDY?! And are you, PEOPLE?!" She was confused, frustrated, angry, well if that's just the beginning.

"Everyone, please let her rest. She's had enough for today." Another tall man, with and eye patch ordered as everyone slowly left the room.

The blonde man, looked at her. "It's going to be okay." he said as She didn't know what to say and just watched him leave.

_He _stood there holding there holding the door knob, not wanting to go anywhere. The woman inside that room had his entire heart after he had learned to open it once again after many years. Yet, it was once again torn.

"She has a case of amnesia." Furry told him.

"Yeah, I think we all got that after what happened in there." He said.

"She's going to come back to us...to you, Steve." Furry always knew what to say, however it wasn't helping Steve feel any better.

"It should be me in there, not her." Steve's guilt for not aiding _Her_, was eating him alive.

"No one could have prevented what happened to Mandy. Things happen for a reason, Captain." Furry seemed to angering the Cap, instead of helping him.

"Bull." Steve retorted as he left.

Nick Furry always had a special affection towards Mandy, nothing romantically it was more like a fatherly affection. He's known her since her parents vanished when she was 10 and raised her himself. The moment she was brought into the Hellcarrier hospital, wounded and unconscious he felt regret for sending her on that mission. He walked into her room, she was standing near the window and was looking out. She had bandages on her right arm and a gauze taped her forehead, her dark hair was tied into a French braid. Her fingers ran through the window, following the raindrops running down. Startled by the sound of someone entering the room, she quickly turned around. In Furry's eyes she looked like the little girl he had rescued, who was hiding in a closet scared from all the ruckus.

"It's okay." Furry assured her, "You're safe, no one will hurt you." he placed his hands in front of him submissively.

"Who are you?...who am I?" Her eyes were red, from all the crying she did after the Avengers left the room.

"I'm Nick Furry. The Director of S.H.I.E.L.D." Nick said. "You are, Mandy Sawyer...Agent Sawyer." he stated as she slowly took a seat on the bed.

"Why does the bracelet say: Amanda Renee Sawyer?" Mandy sure was lost.

"Well that's your full name, but you prefer to go by Mandy." Nick won a small smile from her.

"What's S.H.I.E.L.D?" Mandy asked.

"It's Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, hence S.H.I.E.L.D." He explained.

"What happened to me? Why can't I remember who _I _am, who you or anyone else is? I don't know whether to believe what you are saying or...I don't know what to do...I'm lost." Mandy's eyes teared.

"You had a very serious injury in a mission...I shouldn't have sent you, to. You are a very important person to a lot of people, this amnesia will go away...I promise. As far as believing what you're being told, just go with what your heart tells you. Everything will be okay, Amanda." Furry has never called Mandy by her full name unless he was angry or otherwise. It really ached him to see her in this condition, not knowing anything...literally anything.

"Who were those people, that were in here earlier?" Mandy asked.

"Those are the Avengers...your friends." He answered as she nodded, not really knowing any of them at this point.

"Who was the blonde man, with the blue eyes?" She just had to know. He was _handsome_.

Nick chuckled "That was Captain Steve Rogers. You also knew him by his counterpart, _Captain America_." Steve was truly an American Hero.

"Oh." Mandy shrugged. Nope, still don't know who was.

"Now, get some rest." Nick tucked her in and she nodded. Oh how this moment was bittersweet for the Director.

Steve led out all his frustrations out on the punching bag, since they were in the Hellcarrier he went to the personal Gym provided there, he missed the one he's gone to since his awakening a year ago. Every punch reminded him of the _evil _that caused his new heartache, many times he was told that hitting things wouldn't solve anything. Yet he never listened. After a while he grabbed his stuff and went back up to his room, took a shower to freshen up, got dressed and went to pay _her _a visit.

He slowly knocked the door before entering "Hey." there she was sitting up, watching a Spanish channel on the television. She looked towards him and gave him a very small and quick smile. "Can I come in?" Steve politely asked, receiving a positive nod from her. He grabbed a chair and sat next her bedside in the same spot, he sat on for a month while she was in a coma. "I see you're enjoying that?" he had no clue what the show was about.

"Do you watch this show too?" Mandy asked.

Steve smiled and shook his head "No. I don't understand Spanish." he answered, Mandy tilted her head "But you do." he cleared her confusion, for a second. She nodded. Mandy was of Italian, Mexican and Portuguese-American decent. She knew several languages, Spanish being one of them.

"You are...Steve Rogers...right?" She furrowed her eyebrows, when she pointed at him.

"That's me." Steve smiled "You remember?!" his spirits were lifted.

Mandy shook her head, no. "Director Furry, was here and he told me who you were." Steve's spirits hit the floor once again. "You're Captain America, too." she pointed out when she changed the channel and spotted him in the news.

"Yeah." Steve felt helpless.

"I better get some rest." Mandy wanted to be left alone. Steve nodded and slowly left the room.

Stepping out of Mandy's room, he clutched his fists and was so eager to hunt down the _evil _responsible for this! He nor the rest of the Avengers saw who was the person or monster who attacked and severely wounded Mandy. He remembers hearing an explosion and seeing Mandy's body fall into the crack of the floor down to the level below:

"MANDY!" Steve yelled as he ran as fast as he could, down to the floor below them. There was a huge whole that separated them.

"Where is she?!" Tony's, Iron Man called out as they all were communicating by ear pieces.

"Is everyone alright?!" Natasha called out.

"Mandy! Where are you, Mandy?!" Steve (Captain America) kept calling out but her voice wasn't coming through. Rushing through time Steve used his shield, to ease moving the debris around. Mandy had pushed Sharon out of the way, protecting her from the attack that caused her wounds. "AMANDA!" he called out again.

"S-Ste-ven..." Mandy's last words quietly penetrated everyone's soul as alongside Captain America, they rushed towards the location she might possibly be found in. Mandy, had a fancy in calling Steve by his full name. Something Steve, really liked as well...but only from her.

"Mandy!" Steve spotted her buried under a huge piece of rubble. Lifting it off of her, he held her in his arms. Her breath was slow just like her heart beats, her body was getting cold, her eyes were closed and would remain that way for a month. "Amanda, wake up honey. Wake up!" he gently tapped her cheeks but she wouldn't open her piercing brown eyes.

"She's got a faint pulse, let's get her into the Hellcarrier NOW!" Bruce, now reduced down to his normal human form said after checking her vitals.

Sharon, stood there in shock dropping to her knees she couldn't believe what her former best friend did, even after the incident that broke their friendship went down. Steve gently carried her in his arms and rushed her into the Hellcarrier's hospital. That was the last time, she knew who she was, who everyone was...and meant.


	2. Chapter 2: Collide

**Disclaimer:/I don't own any of the characters, with the exception of the O/C.**

**R&R :)**

**Collide**

Sharon felt some sort of regret for not only being the cause of Mandy getting hurt in the line of fire, but for being the reason things went wrong with her friend's new found love interest. All Sharon ever wanted, was to live up to her aunt Peggy's reputation. Literally. There's always crossfire, Steve happened to be it in all of this.

"You lied to me! You told me she was dead, Sharon! Why the hell would you do that?!" Steve was beyond frustrated.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Sharon was in tears "I just wanted you to love me..." she said in between her sobs.

"I did love you! You just couldn't seem to believe me. Better yet, trust me that I did." Steve, had opened his heart only a tiny bit. Testing the waters of love again and being shot down, definitely let out a colder side of him.

"Steve!" Sharon hollered, watching the man she loves walk away slamming the door behind him.

"It's gonna be alright." Sharon was wrapped in her best friend's arms. Her best friend, quickly charged behind him.

"Steven!" That voice made him turn around in an instant.

"And you! Why didn't you tell me the truth? You knew!" Steve raised his voice at her, making her raise a brow and give him a stern look.

"First of all, watch your tone with me! Second of all, I was telling her to tell you right before you stormed in and started going all bloody Mary on us." She was quite a spitfire.

"I'm sorry." Steve took a deep breath "Bloody Mary?" he shook his head, not quite understanding that reference. "How long have you known? And Mandy, please don't hide anything from me." he wanted answers.

"For about a week or so. Steve, Sharon really loves you. Don't turn your back on her, over something that could be easily mended." Mandy was _different_.

Steve nodded, realizing that Mandy knew but not long enough for him to fear extremely furious. Sharon had lied to him for three months, about her aunt Peggy being deceased. "I don't know what to feel right now." he was cold, towards the woman he once thought about opening his heart to.

That was then and this was now, clearly that memory wasn't even close to what broke Mandy's and Sharon's close friendship. Sharon observed and watched as Steve left Mandy's room in the Helicarrier hospital.

"Hey." Sharon walked in with a sweet and soft smile, as Mandy was barely waking up.

"H-Hi?" Mandy couldn't recall who this blond woman was?

"I'm Sharon." She tapped her chest. Mandy's eyes simply turned from side to side, clueless to who this woman still was. "How are you feeling?" she asked sitting on the chair Steve had warmed up before leaving. He's been sleeping on that chair every night for the past month.

"Good." Mandy was short of words, the poor woman was afraid of being hurt.

"I see you and Steve are talking." Sharon smiled, as Mandy shook her head and tilted.

"Steve?" Then she remembered "Oh! Y-Yeah, not so much. But every now and then." Mandy answered.

"He's really nice, not to mention quite handsome." Sharon giggled.

"Y-Yeah, he is." Mandy was just trying to keep it short so this strange woman would leave. Looking over she noticed Steve's jacket was on the chair. "He forgot his jacket." She pointed.

"Oh that's fine, I'll give my _boyfriend_ his jacket back." Sharon smiled and grabbed Steve's jacked "Well I'll see you later, I have things to do." she added before getting up.

"Okay." Mandy slightly smiled and nodded.

Mandy was feeling sore from laying down for so long. She's been in this room for a month and it was about time for her to stretch her legs, once again. Though some pain in her rib cages still stung, but she still managed to stand and walk around the room.

"I see your feeling better?" A woman with red hair, walked in with hands containing some neatly folded clothes.

"Y-Yeah...?" Mandy froze.

"I'm Natasha." She smiled. "I brought you some of your clothes, I figured you'd be fed up with wearing that dreadful robe." Natasha placed, Mandy's clothes neatly on the bed. "You're safe here, Mandy. You really are." she nodded before leaving Mandy.

Mandy walked over to the clothes lying on her bed, she smiled not really understanding why she was smiled. In reality Mandy's attire consisted of black pants, paired with some sort of black shirt and black boots. Grabbing the clothes she went to restroom and changed, not really know what kind of hairstyle she wanted she simply tied her up in a French braid.

"Oh God!" Mandy was quickly startled.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you." Steve felt so bad for startling her, as he saw the quick rush of fear slowly subside from her face. "I'll come back later." he felt so bad, he was going to leave.

"No. It's alright, you just startled me a bit." Mandy smiled a little. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

Steve couldn't take his eyes off, of her. She looked beautiful, in anything she wore. "I forgot my jacket." he smiled as his eyes searched for his, brown leather jacket.

"Yeah, I noticed. Your- Sharon, took it to give it back to you." Mandy nodded as she folded the robe and placed it on the corner of the bed.

"Are you feeling better?" Steve asked as he got closer to her, without realizing he did.

"Yeah, small pains here and there. But nothing I can't bare." Mandy assured him as their eyes locked. Never have the colors brown and blue so good. "I-...uhm, I'm gonna go for a walk." she said, feeling her stomach trying to escape her body.

"Care if I joined you?" All he wanted was to be around her, once again.

"Yeah" Mandy nodded.

Steve yearned for her presence around him, maybe it wasn't all lost? Maybe all she needed was to be reminded once again, of the memories. The memories that made her one of the most loved human beings on this planet. The memories, that will hopefully remind her of the strength and the fire that made her such a great S.H.I.E.L.D Agent. The memories in where the _Soldier_ lost track of time and opened the doors to his heart,locking her heart in his.

"'ey Cap. Mandy" Tony Stark, always made an entrance. "I'm Tony Stark, Iron Man and very majestically." he introduced himself to Mandy, knowing she'd have no clue who he was.

"Right." Mandy slowly nodded as Steve rolled his eyes.

"I'm Pepper." Pepper smiled making Mandy feel warm.

"Hi." Mandy simply said.

"What are you doing here, Stark?" Steve had that commanding tone in his voice.

"Well _Cap_, we found something regarding the attack a month ago." Tony said as Pepper pulled out a photo raising it up, so Steve cold see. There was a small dark figure near the area Mandy, landed after she was rushed into the Helicarrier.

Mandy's eyes widened as she observed the picture, she was short of breath. This triggered a voice in her head.

"You don't know pain, until you experience it!" That voice was so loud in her mind, it was incredible how one simple black and gray picture caused Mandy to breakdown into tears.

"Mandy?" The three chorused.

"Oh God..." Mandy's face and body was consumed with fear.

"Mandy, honey what's wrong?" Pepper tried calming her down.

"Put the damn picture away, Pepper!" Tony was quick to realize that the picture had triggered a memory. "Mandy! Do you remember?" he and Mandy grew up together after her parents perished, therefore he was always close to her as a brother would.

"Leave me alone!" Mandy covered her ears as Steve wrapped his arms around her, trying to calm her down. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Mandy yelled as her body quickly shut down.

"Amanda!" Steve carried her in his arms, rushing her back to her hospital room. She had fainted. "Mandy. Wake up." He whispered in her ear as he caressed her face.

"She clearly remembered something." Tony soon entered with a bottle of water.

"Back off!" Steve was angry at him.

"I know how you feel. I'm trying to help her too." Tony found himself face to face, with the Captain.

"She's already had enough hell for one day, don't make it worse." Steve was really concerned for her. Tony complied with the Captain's orders and left.

Mandy woke up and simply lied there, staring at the ceiling. "I heard someone's voice, in my head." she said as Steve turned to her.

"Can you remember who's it was?" He sat next to her.

"No." She said.

"I want to go home...Do I even have a home?" Mandy looked at Steve.

"Yeah, yeah you do." Steve replied "I'll take you home, as soon as we land in New York." he assured her.

"Thank you." She smiled.

Mandy couldn't go a complete night without having a nightmare, having Steve by her side gave her some assurance. But knowing that he was Sharon's boyfriend, threw her off. The Super Soldier made her feel safe, his arms were a castle and all she knew was that she wanted to be around him. But why?

"Hey Soldier!" Mandy's voice rung a bell in Steve's ears. "I know your busy, but I want to show you something." she was beaming.

"Right now?" Steve eyed the time and smiled. "Alright, alright let's go." he gallantly followed her, to the mysterious destination.

"I know this isn't all that magical, but it's one of my favorite places." Mandy held his hand as they sat on a rooftop, watching as the sun slowly settled down.

"It's always magical when you're around, Amanda." Steve smiled causing Mandy to blush.

"I love that song!" Mandy randomly pointed out, as one of the tenants' from the apartment below was playing the song Yellow, by Coldplay.

"Care to dance?" Steve stretched his hand out.

"I thought you didn't know how to dance?" Mandy answered.

"I learned a few moves." He smirked. Mandy gladly took his offer and they stood up and danced.

"Yellow is also my favorite color." Mandy was so random.

"I know." He smirked once again.

"I'll never forget this day." Mandy whispered as her head rested on his chest, while dancing. "Look how they shine for you, look how they shine. Look at the stars, looks how they shine for you..." she sang, receiving a lovely kiss from her Soldier.

These were the memories that hurt Steve the most, seeing how close he had her and yet she was still so far away.


	3. Chapter 3: These Times Are Hard

******Disclaimer:/I don't own any of the characters, with the exception of the O/C.**

******These Times Are Hard**

It's been three since Mandy had woken up from her month-long coma, it was time for her to get back to her daily life whether she remembers her past or not. With a couple if bruised ribs she headed down to gym inside the Helicarrier and began giving the punching bag several swings, before the sharp pains of her wounds made her submit to them.

"Fuck." Mandy hugged her ribs while she caught her breath.  
"Bags' too much for you, eh kid." That snarky voice kept getting closer and closer. Mandy slowly looked up at him and nodded. She looked back down to the ground and couldn't quite say what she wanted.  
"Why..." Her eyes begun to sting "why me?..." she whispered. "I-..." Mandy's been holding in every ounce of emotions flowing through her.  
"I know..." Tony embraced her "Everyones' here for you Amanda. There's still hope." He wasn't the type to be mushy, but this was a person he really cared about and she's hurting both physically and emotionally.  
"Thank you..." Mandy whispered into his chest. She didn't know exactly why trusting this man felt so easy and why she felt so close to home, with Stark. After Tony heard her squeal in pain he walked her to the infirmary, where Dr. Kate Davidson was.

Kate was one of SHIELD's best doctor and occasionally served as an EMT. Nick Furry had approved her suggestion of wearing black scrubs with the gold logo, instead of the traditional white lab coat, a year ago upon her return to SHIELD. All thanks to Clinton. Tony knocked the door and Kate turned around to see who was a the door.

"Stark." Kate smiled.  
"I have a guest, for you." Tony helped Mandy onto the stretcher.  
"Hey Mandy, I'm Dr. Davidson." Kate had a genuine calm voice, that soothed and calmed anyone. She was very aware of Amanda's amnesia, therefore she didn't question her at all.  
"Hey." Mandy cringed at her rib pain. Tony's phone went off.  
"I'll take care of her, go on." Kate nodded. Tony agreed and left.  
"What are you going to do me?!" Mandy was in panic mode.  
"I'm going to change your bandages and ease the pain." Kate smiled and began to work on Mandy.  
"I'm pretty sure I'm suppose to know you, but I don't." Mandy and Kate laughed and laughed. It felt so good to laugh instead of crying, for once.  
"I'm Katerina Davidson, I go by Kate. I'm a certified SHIELD doctor and sometimes I sometimes serve as an EMT." Kate described a bit of herself "We are friends, Mandy." She added and Mandy smile

"I'm so desperate to remember just simply who I am..." Mandy was overwhelmed with all the questions running through her head.

"Don't pressure yourself, memories will come back slowly." Kate helped Mandy sit up.

Later that day Mandy went back to her recovery room and looked out the window, they were still airborne and all she wanted was to go home and be alone. Kate had given her some pain medication to ease the pain on her bruised ribs. Knocks were coming from her door...it was _him_.

"Hey...I figured you'd be hungry?" Steve smiled as he entered holding a tray of food.

"Thanks, but I'm not too hungry." Mandy replied looking over at the tray of food and shaking her head.

"Havin' a rough day?" Steve was trying to figure out ways, to have a decent conversation with her.

"Ya' think?" Mandy replied and for some odd reason she giggled just like earlier when she first replied to Kate. Steve smiled as her smile melted his heart.

"T_ouché__." Steve chuckled and sat down on the same old chair, he's been sitting on next to Mandy's bedside._

_"Can I ask you something?" Mandy asked him._

_"Sure." He replied._

_"Did-" Mandy thought her question was stupid "Did I have any important relationships?" she furrowed her eyebrows as her face turned red, from the embarrassment of her question._

_"Yeah you did. It ended pretty quick." Steve sighed._

_"Oh." Mandy looked down._

"He didn't know how to appreciate you." Steve frowned at one his least desirable memories:

Steve was so conflicted with his heart, the women first loved no longer could be with him. Then there was Mandy, you might be asking as to why Sharon wasn't mentioned. That is simple, she played him and controlled him like a puppet for far too long that it repelled the Soldier away from her. Mandy on the other hand gave him her friendship and genuine love, that it felt so much like if she was Peggy at one point.

"Memory lane?" Mandy sat next to him as Steve was looking through old pictures.

"Yeah." He sighed.

"Steve." She placed her hand over his, grabbing his attention "we need to talk." Mandy was such a rock that didn't let her emotions get to her, but this man had changed her so much. Steve looked at her piercing brown eyes and stayed in them.

"Mandy-" He knew exactly what was going on.

"Steven. You and I can't seem to be on the same page lately...and I think I know why." Mandy placed the tips of her fingers lightly on his lips. "You still love _Her_...and I can't force myself into your heart...I'm not Sharon." Her eyes welled up.

"I love _you_ too, Mandy." Steve's mind was confused as to what or who he wanted to be with. "Peggy is-"

"The one that got away." Mandy finished his phrase. "Solve the puzzles in your heart and figure out who you truly want, then come to me..."

"...and if it turns out it's not you?..." Steve asked, wanting to know all his options before finding his own truth.

"Then don't come back at all..." She wiped the crystal tear running down her face as she stood up and left.

That was the last time Steve and Mandy spoke outside of work and he regretted every minute of it. Seeing her standing in front of him asking if she once loved someone or if someone loved her, made that guilt feel immense.

"Where are you from?" Mandy tilted her head to the side and sat across from him on her bed.

"Brooklyn." He side smiled "you?" Steve teased her.

"I don't know, you tell me." She replied as they laughed.

"Manhattan, New York." He smiled

"That sounds like an awesome place." Mandy looked down and smiled. "Thank you." Her brown eyes slowly meeting his blue eyes. "For keeping me company, Steve." she gave him a sincere smile.

"No need to thank me. I'm just glad to see you're okay." Steve couldn't help it and gave her a hug.

A hug that lasted longer than intended there was a moment where their lips were incredibly close to touching, but they were interrupted...

"Mandy-" _She _was stunned.

"We...we were just talking." Mandy quickly pulled away from Steve's embrace. "J-Just talking." she was so nervous that Sharon might get the wrong idea.

"I see." Sharon pursed her lips together and frowned.

"What are you doing here?" Steve raised a brow, he was questioning as to why Mandy kept trying to defend her actions.

"Fury's looking for you. He needs you, NOW!" Sharon was red with envy as she slammed the door behind her and left.

"Mandy-" Steve turned to Mandy.

"Just go." Mandy nodded.

Kate was on her way to Mandy's room to check up on her, when she bumped into Clinton. She ignored him and simply walked passed him, as if he wasn't there.

"Okay Kate, are you going to keep ignoring me?" Clinton gently grabbed her arm.

"I don't see why I can't, it's a goddamn free country. So yeah!" Kate sarcastically nodded.

"We have to eventually talk...please." Clinton's relationship with Kate went on a downward spiral over certain actions, that were inevitable.

"No. I don't want to _ever _talk to you, other than work related. Do you understand me?! Maybe next time you'll think about screwing me over...again!" Kate forced her arm off his grip and walked away.

Clearly Steve wasn't the only one in strenuous relationship or relationships if I may say. The Avengers were romantically falling apart, but that's life after all. The Helicarrier had finally landed and Mandy was so desperate to go home and be alone, as I said before. Tony drove her home to her New York apartment, where she stayed in for the next couple of days that followed. On a Monday morning Amanda made her way back to her apartment after going for a long walk around the city, she found a note under her door:

MEET ME AT THE PARK.

That's all the note said, with a strange signature on the bottom of the note. She furrowed her eyebrows and maybe thought it was either Steve or Tony who were trying to play a prank on her. She eventually scratched Steve out of the equation, seeing he wasn't that type of person. Who wrote this letter?


End file.
